Whether you believe the Motorcycle Industry Council’s recent claim that the ladies now comprise 19% of the motorcycle-riding population in the US, it’s as plain as the pert, upturned nose on your pretty little face that there are a lot more women out there riding, thank God. And some of them are moms. One of them may be your mom. If that proves to be the case, get off your procrastinating bottom right now and get her something nice for Mother’s Day. It’s almost here.
Dainese Racing 3 D-Air Women’s Jacket – $1200
Due to their child-bearing and rearing capabilities, the ladies tend to have a different shape than the male of the species, and Dainese has just recognized this fact by making its D-Air gear to fit the feminine form. The D-Air system, as you know, is a complex electro-gasbageous deal that senses when Mom is about to go for an unplanned flight and inflates just in time to save the day – or at least the upper half of her body. This one’s made of high quality Tutu cowhide, with perforated panels for airflow and stretch panels for a great fit and freedom of movement. And it’s stylish as all get-out.
Hog Blaster Motorcycle Dryer – $125
Labor-saving devices that allow your mother to clean your, ahhh, her motorcycle quicker, and all those other domestic things she loves to do in her spare time, are always a hit. The Hog Blaster blows a stream of dry, filtered 18,000 fpm air into all those hard-to-reach areas, cutting drying time significantly, while doing away with streaks, runs and errors. Hell yes.
Womens’ Aldale Waterproof Performance Boots – $190
“Your mother wears army boots,” used to be insulting. Now it’s kind of titillating, really. It can be a hard pill to swallow, but just because she’s your mom doesn’t mean she’s not hot. The rest of us will be the judge of that, and boots like these – for Moms whose legs go all the way up – will help drive the algorithm. These hogkickers are made by Wolverine, and feature a breathable HydroGuard waterproof membrane lining, rubber outsole, a YKK locking inside zipper and PORON ankle protection. No, not PORNO, PORON.
Klim Hibernate Women’s Socks – $25
Socks aren’t really my go-to gift, but they are a go-to item every time it’s time to write a gift guide. Why not? Everybody always needs socks, especially really nice ones like these. They’re probably the only Klim thing you can afford; the warmest, thickest sock they make is 60% merino wool, 24% polyamide and16% lycra, these classy stemwinders are designed specifically for women to enhance the performance of Gore-Tex boots by wicking moisture away from the skin and allowing the foot to stay warm and dry in the harshest conditions and on the couch.
REV’IT! Fly 2 Women’s Gloves – $90
Who’s not up for a nice new pair of gloves? These perforated goatskin babies have a tri-fleece polyester liner, hard-shell knuckles and other protective features. Also stretch panels for a snug fit, and even “connect finger tips” at index fingers and thumbs, so Mom can call you without removing her gloves: Handy if she finds herself in a brawl.
Öhlins NIX30 Cartridge Kit – $1300
You know, if you just asked your Mom what she really wants for Mother’s Day, she’d say only for you to be happy, dear. Run with that: “Developed and tested with leading World Supersport and Superstock race teams, the Öhlins NIX30 Cartridge Kit delivers race-level performance to the sport and track day enthusiast. Every kit is tailored using research data and the collective racing experience from Öhlins. This leads to a performance package with shims, valves and pistons specific to your motorcycle’s geometry and handling characteristics. This drop-in kit features fully independent compression and rebound in separate forks. This makes changing your setup that much easier and faster.” Knowing you’re riding with better feel and control – and therefore safer – is only going to make your Mom sleep better at night. You’re welcome, Ma. The kits are, of course, bike-specific, so why not get one for her bike too while you’re at it?
S&S Cycle Synthetic Oil Change Kit For Harley – $73 to $88
Show Mom you’re not a complete millennial by treating her to a display of machismo as you perform an oil change on her motorcycle (kits are available for all kinds of bikes, we just assumed your Mom rides a Harley.) Why not borrow a grinder to throw sparks, so you can post the video on Insta? This S&S kit isn’t exactly inexpensive, but you do get four quarts of the good 20W-50 synthetic stuff. Later over dinner, you’ll be able to get into an oil argument with Mom’s new BF, who seems like a bit of a douchebag and runs the cheapest non-detergent stuff he can find in his Chevelle and always has. I hate you Mom.
Ladies-Only Tour to Alaska – $4,950 to $8,500
MotoQuest has a couple of these lined up on its schedule this June and August. Give Mom a break from your crusty old stepdad, pack her off to experience Denali National Park, the Alaska Range, Denali (Formerly Mt. McKinley), Thompson Pass and Valdez with a pack of adventurous women from around the world on a nice new Honda Africa Twin, H-D dresser or BMW.
If not MotoQuest, there are quite a few other women’s tours at the tip of your Google.
Hercules Candies Chocolate Motorcycle – $10
When all else fails, the chips are down, and the jig is up – you know what to do. Chocolate – 7.5 ounces of pure milk chocolate to be specific, kind of in the shape of some old British bike with a really lazy rake, but at least it’s in a snazzy box. Pick up a nice bottle of wine and you’re golden. Happy Mother’s Day.
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